LIFE LESSONS FROM THE STORY OF A MAN THAT KILLED HIS PREGNANT WIFE IN LUGBE-ABUJA.

MAN IN ABUJA KILLS HIS WIFE PREGNANT WIFE; LESSONS TO LEARN.

A man in Lugbe Abuja has reportedly beaten his pregnant wife to death. The man and the wife were blessed with three kids, all girls. Having all girls seems to be the issue the man has with his wife. Or maybe there are other issues  or reasons for the fight, that is not my concern,but whatever the issue maybe, it has no justification. I'm sure the man never intended killing his pregnant wife, but who knows when the devil will take over the situation and strike.

This is not the first time I'm hearing of a man beating his wife to death, I have heard this type of story severally, and it is really heartbreaking that a man will beat his own wife, the mother of his kids, to the point of killing her. A woman, the said man walked into her fathers compound and rightly asked for her hand in marriage, it is sad.

What will ever make a man hit his wife, a pregnant wife at that, who has mothered three kids for him already? To me that man is devil personified. To beat a pregnant woman to the point of killing her? That is really sad, I cry for the daughters she left behind.

That the man killed his wife is not my issue, the woman is dead already, we are interested in the living wives, wives living in abusive marriages, wives who has no one to talk to, wives who need help but are being silenced by the society.

The thought of this woman dying and leaving behind her daughters for who to mother them is really disheartening, and I wonder what the fate of these girls would be when another woman finally becomes their mother.

This incidence has some lessons to teach both husbands and wives; I have taken my time to study these few lessons;

Marriage is not a do or die affair; yes in the altar, the vow is for better and for worse, but to me that vow does not hold water when life is involved. If you feel your life is threatened or at risk because of marriage, run away with your life before it is too late. Life has no duplicate. I'm sure that marriage had traces of violence from day one, but the woman choose to live with it and protect her husband. LIFE FIRST.

Don’t protect or hide that man; any man that will raise his hands against a woman, more so a pregnant woman, deserves to live among animals, no matter what a woman does, she is not to be battered to the extent of killing her. Speak up, if you are living with an abusive man, before it is too late. Even if there is nobody to talk to, talk to your pastor. Seek help before you become the late. Every woman wants and desires to be married, but hey, if your marriage is not working seek help.

There are NGOs that deal with cases of abusive marriage, domestic violence, even if you do not want to leave the marriage, get the man to sign an undertaking, that your life is safe with him.

A woman is to be loved and not battered; after going through pregnancy and painful childbirth, a man will raise his hands against a woman, I wonder what that man will do when he sees a fellow man. If a man cannot raise his hands against his mom, why then his wife? God commands a man to love bis wife as much as he loves himself.

God gives children; these men will have to understand that their wives don’t give children. Come to think of it, the sex of a child is determined by the man, the woman has no hand in determining the sex of a child. The man has the XY chromosomes, while the woman only has XX chromosomes. At copulation, the chromosome the man donates, determines the sex of the unborn child. If the man donates a Y  chromosome, it fertilizes the woman’s X to give XY which produces a male child, if he donates an X, it fertilizes the woman’s X, to give a female child. So dear husband blame yourself  if you are giving your wife X chromosome each time she gets pregnant. She will definitely give you a female child. Doctors will explain better.

Forget about the society; yes, women live in abusive marriage because of what the society will say, what families, friends and societies will say or how they will feel. Let me ask, this woman that lost her life now, is the society not talking? Her family is in pain and crying for the loss, that shame and disgrace she has been avoiding has led to her death, the man she has been protecting has been exposed.                                          With time, the society will forget about your marital issues and accept your decision of leaving the marriage, forget the society.

Nothing is worth dying for; that man that you want to kill yourself  for will get married to another woman soon after the wife’s burial. No man is worth the life of any woman.

Dear husband learn how to control your anger; for crying out loud, there are so many ways to punish, correct and handle a woman and it will get to  her bone marrow. To me, it is only a man that has inferiority complex that will raise his hand against a woman. Leave the house for her, reject her food, deny her sex, don't talk to her, don't give her money, shout at her, anything at all you can think of, but not hitting a woman, a pregnant one at that.

Before you decide to continue staying in an abusive marriage, remember your kids. If anything happens, which nobody prays for, and maybe death occurs, who will mother your children?

You deserve more than one minute silence on your child’s wedding day.

TO AVOID BEING HIT BY YOUR HUSBAND;

Don’t talk while he is talking; you may want to talk while your husband is talking, but I tell you, that wont yield any result. The best thing to do when a man is unhappy or shouting at you is to shut up, better still leave the room. I have heard a man say that he beats his wife because of the way she talks to him.                          Have water in your mouth when he is talking, just to make sure you don't reply anything he says.

DEAR WIFE WATCH YOUR TONGUE, IT IS THE SMALLEST PART OF THE BODY BUT CAN SET THE WHOLE BODY ON FIRE.

Don't talk while he is still angry; allow the tension and anger to die down before stating your reasons for doing what you did, or saying what you said.

Know his dos and donts; if you know what he wants, do it, if you know what makes him unhappy, don’t do it.

Do everything within your power to avoid trouble; it may not be easy, but try.For the sake of your children which is why so many women tolerate abusive marriage, avoid trouble. If you know anything that may upset him or upsets him, avoid doing that thing. Do and pursue everything/anything that will bring peace.

Seek Gods help; you need to ask God to arrest an abusive husband, what your mouth and anger may not do for you, prayers and Gods help will.

Seek help; there must be somebody you can talk to, maybe your pastor,your pastors' wife, even someone you do not know may be of help, mother in-law, brother in-law, responsible elders, mothers. Not necessarily for them to advise the man or talk to him, because some men may pick offense that you reported him to outsiders, but for you to get some piece of advice on how best to handle the situation. Go for marriage counseling, talk to someone you trust, look for help and you will find help. Don't just sit down and be crying or wishing that a miracle happens.

 If you have tried everything within your powers to find peace and love in your marriage, but the battering  and violence continues, my dear, run for your life. Your children, family and  friends  needs you alive. IT IS BETTER TO BE LATE THAN THE LATE. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN ONE MINUTE SILENCE ON YOUR CHILD'S SPECIAL DAY.

 Dear husband, your wife is to be loved, cherished, adored, taken care of, handled with care, she is weaker than you, if you want to fight, why don't you go and meet your fellow men, or register with karate or wrestling.

MAY THE SOUL OF THIS WOMAN AND HER UNBORN CHILD THROUGH THE MERCY OF GOD REST IN PEACE.....AMEN.

I PRAY AND HOPE THIS WOMAN AND HER UNBORN CHILD GETS JUSTICE.

MAY WE ALL LIVE TO REAP THE FRUITS OF OUR LABOR.....AMEN.

MAY WE ALL FIND PEACE AND LOVE IN OUR HOMES.

 STAY HAPPY ALWAYS......

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There is no moral justification to domestic violence.


For a better relationship with your partner, please read this here